Once again I gave my time away to the whims of another person and did not accomplish what I set out to do with my valuable time.
I would not be angry if I bent my itinerary to accommodate someone else’s legitimate immediate or urgent need.
I am angry because I surrendered my time to bullshit for someone who was only interested in impeding my time for their selfish need to control me and obstruct my goals.
NO imposition on his plans, AT ALL
I am even angrier that I surrendered myself at the expense of my agenda for someone who doesn’t value me, my plans, my opinions or my needs.
I am not sure who I am angrier with — myself or my narcissist!
My self because I saw it coming and I didn’t stop it, AGAIN.
My narcissist because, despite my tireless battle, nothing ever changes.
Nothing ever changes because, despite my painstaking efforts, I keep allowing my boundaries to be crossed and the line of demarcation, for acceptable versus unacceptable behavior, continues to waiver.
So, I guess I am angrier at myself, BUT I resent him. I can no longer live in denial. I cannot and will no longer accept and excuse his behavior and his role in putting me in this position.