Because he is a narcissist and has been treating me without respect or regard for, pretty much, the length of our 17 year
relationship, I have bottomed out, emotionally. I have spent the better part of the past two years fighting very hard with
myself — through counseling and quiet introspection — fighting with the self-destructive behaviors that have become
second nature to me as I adopted them to survive. I have also been fighting with him — which amounts to crying, yelling,
remaining silent, talking, loving and hating — in hopes that he would see it worthwhile to concretely, and professionally,
amend what is broken in our relationship.
It has been 2 years that I have actively pursued this fight — ACTIVELY FOUGHT — but it has been at least 15 years that I
have struggled against his devices.
He has boldly declined my every gesture. He is resolved to “make it better” by not arguing. Never mind the mistreatment
of me, and our family, we need to “just get over that, everything’s fine.”
Because he is a narcissist, instead of looking at his part in our dysfunction, he is trying to find the reason that I am
standing up against his aggression, battling his behavior and rejecting his methods. There must be something going on,
couldn’t be that I’m exhausted from needing to fight for my every right or giving-up and folding thus disregarding my own
Because he is a narcissist, instead of looking at his part in our dysfunction, he has labeled me as “too sensitive,” “a
victim,” and “crazy” for putting my foot down and no longer accepting his negative, hostile demeanor and his explosive
outbursts. Constant name-calling, despite the list of approximately 32 signs that describe a narcissist — of which I can
check off 28 to 30 descriptors that apply to him or his behavior. It is far-fetched to consider that he is bringing some
behavior to the table that, coupled with my inadequate coping skills is creating a volatile mix of emotion. It must be much
more productive to belittle and demean your family.
Because he is a narcissist, instead of looking at his part in our dysfunction, he stands clear of any and all behaviors that
may have have contributed to the demise of our relationship. So….because he’s a narcissist, it all falls on me!!!
Inconceivable that I’ve become numb by being blamed for the ills of the world ranging from issues in our home to high gas
prices and global warming! NO wonder why I’m so tired!!!