Where do I start? Talk about pressure! I often find it so hard to talk about myself, as I am, although I have no problem talking about the events throughout my life that have molded me into the person that I am today.
My name is Jay — which is short for something longer, but I don’t care for that name so my friends call me Jay. I am a late-forty something (real close to 50-years old) woman born and raised in New York City. I have spent most of my adult life living on Long Island and continue to do so. I thoroughly enjoy living and/or being near the surf, but somehow I managed to settle a drive-away from any water, which doesn’t thrill me. I am married to my second husband. Together we have a 10 year old and I have some rights, I suppose, due to time-served, as a stepmother to his twenty-something from his first marriage.
I have been through numerous scenarios and situations through the years, some happy, some less than happy, some common, others not so common and while this earns me no medals or special honors, I do recognize and accept the role each event has played to shape the Jay of today.
I am proud to say that in recent years I have sought help in gaining a better understanding of my core. I can’t say that I started counseling because I was necessarily unhappy, but I definitely was discontent. Through my time of self-evaluation, while identifying patterns of communication and behavior in my life I have gained a new persepective, a better understanding and a renewed appreciation of the ways every action we take, every situation we are exposed to and/or every interaction we have shapes our lives. They combine within us to shape the mold that exists as our core, our emotional foundation. Every internalized message plays a conscious or subconscious role, in the attitude and output that we put back into the world.
So, we grow up applying everything that we have experienced, internalized or learned throughout our lives. What people receive from us or what we put out into the world is a direct reflection of what’s at or eating at our core.
So — what’s this about?? It’s about life. Mine and yours.
As proud as I am about my personal progress over the last few years I am ashamed to admit that for my entire life I did not realize or comprehend how seriously I was influenced, effected, and really controlled, by people in my life — by “my people” –some with good intentions; others, with more self-serving agendas. Needless to say, these individuals occupied critical space in my life and their personal agendas became absorbed into my perceptions. There they worked at and succeeded in damaging the creation and maintenance of an authentic, positive core within me, crippling both my self-image and self-esteem.
So, this is my attempt to validate your feelings or experiences through my journey, because through my own personal self-evaluation it has become clear to me that what we see, hear and speak — what we feel or choose not to feel — is really all very personal. Every person is unique — like fingerprints, we are no-two exactly alike. Regardless of what criteria separate us — OUR journey is about OURSELVES, it has to be — when we recognize this and act on our own behalf, the rest will fall into place.
But I also realize that in our lonesome journey it helps to know that although our quest is a lone one, we are not completely alone. Other people may, and do, have similar experiences and sometimes just knowing this little, yet HUGE, detail is enough to validate that your suspicions or feelings about your own interpretations are not out of the ordinary. Again, ALL people interpret their experiences from a different perspective based on their core, but not all experiences are completely singular.
There are a finite number of story plots in the world, I believe the number is 7, but there is an infinite amount of stories. Why? Because all story-tellers take that basic plot and add their personal twist. Sometimes we can relate, sometimes we can’t.
So this is about me, and you, and him, her and them. If you can relate and enjoy the validation, then I have accomplished something. If you can’t relate, that’s okay too, then I hope I have at least succeeded in opening your eyes to a different perspective and educating, or at least entertaining, you.
I believe that self-introspection is essential to a “grounded” core. I imagine that everyone wants to experience happiness on some level and a sense of well-being, whether that be related to work, social, financial or all three. As life changes we need to keep up or risk falling behind. Stay focused, keep an open mind and don’t be afraid to go for what you want.
Remember, it’s never too late to shine!!